so this one begins with me and 3 other people getting a car to go on vacation. im with my old friend greg and these two middle aged african women and we’re riding along in a blue SUV and we get to a sandy parking lot that must be near a beach somewhere and we all pile out and we’re standing in front of a row of houses that are perfectly square and rather large and are covered in small blue spanish-style tiles. the women stay near the car and greg and i walk over the sand and he tells me that one of them is the messmer’s old house [a family that used to live in my town, apparently they’re going to tear their old house down, which is sad] and sure enough i look closely and some of the tiles on one house have letters on them that spells out “The Messmers.”
Greg and I turn around to see the two women moving the car to a different parking spot where there are fewer cars and they get out a bunch of beach stuff and disappear, towards the beach i assume. Greg and i are walking along the row of houses and we start throwing a ball around, and by that i mean that greg is throwing the ball at the upper blank expanse of the houses. eventually we pass a house and he knocks something off and it falls to the ground and kind of splinters a little. It turns out to be a very old wooden sculpture, sort in bas relief, of three men in long robes. it looks vaguely ancient christian, perhaps of the three wise men standing in a group. the piece has splintered in between each of the men but not enough for it to fall apart.
naturally we feel compelled to tell the owner and to fix it. so we knock on the door and a brownish women with one eye, cyclops style, wearing pink eyeliner that is also bejeweled, opens the door and lets us in. we are standing in her living room, there is an obscenely high table to the right, perhaps 8′ tall, but the perspective is warped and we can see the top that is covered in weird knick-knacks and a radio which is on. next to the text is a large TV hutch thing that has items in it as well as a TV, which is on. Across from that is a small light brown leather couch. we proceed to attempt to explain to her what we have done and for some reason she refuses to acknowledge that the piece is damaged, but we insist that we fix it for her, so she kind of shrugs and walks back to the couch.
as we are bent over trying to fix this thing with i dont know what, i begin to look at the things in the tv hutch more. i see a collection of books with arabic writing, and for some reason i assume them to be islamic. alongside these many books are the garish covers of what i realize are dvd’s about beginner’s anal sex and the woman was watching one while we were working. nothing graphic was being shown or could be seen, but i had this weird understanding that she was islamic but not practicing in any way and was trying to figure out a work-around in order to get some anal sex. she is intently watching the tv, completely ignoring us.
as i am coming to this bizarre conclusion, the sound of the radio crescendoes. greg had been listening to it and tells me that he’s just realized that the local government has just declared a state of Sharia Law [if that is even possible.] just as we look at each other in shock, we see the woman standing in front of us looking very scared and very tall and very cyclops-eyed [pink and jewel eyeliner] just as we are all looking at each other, a monstrous explosion tears the entire right side off the house and we are in a desert where bombs are exploding everywhere and there is a tank that takes a shell and out of the smoke rises a helicopter gunship that tries to fly away but a missile comes tearing through the sky and splits in half along the shorter axis and it crashes back into the desert. there seems to be army paraphernalia all around, but no people in sight. explosions but no fire.
the women we came with are nowhere to be found. presumably they are still at the beach.